Why am I posting this?
Many of you are undoubtedly asking yourselves why I would post something so personal online. It's true that therapy is a deeply personal thing, and I do keep most of my therapy sessions private. However, the EMDR section refers directly to my experiences in an abusive church. I want to show exactly what it's taking for me to try to recover from the experience. It's very hard work.
Why did I post about the abusive church in the first place? Well, a lot of times, my friends on various message boards would not understand why I am so hostile when talking about churches and religion. Also, during the time I was in the church, I was a member of a Christian message board. I have posted so that people can gain an understanding of what shaped my opinions, and also because I got tired of repeating the story.
I have already received many messages from people all over the world saying how much my story has helped them, sometimes because it helped them realize that they, themselves, were in an abusive church. I think it's a problem that is not adequately addressed.
Finally, I have discussed this at length with my regular therapist, and the therapist performing the EMDR. It is not a petty attempt at revenge on the church people - while still somewhat angry and hurt, my ultimate goal is complete indifference towards those people. Rather, this site is helping me tell my story, to get it out, and hopefully it will help others.